CBGB (written on closing night)
CBGB's was never just a building. It was Mecca. At my very first hardcore matinee at CB's I knew I'd found what I had been looking for. It wasnt my first show. Nope...that was at the Jane street Rock Hotel...but my first CB's show was different. That building had life, and gave life. I was a kid, about 15 years old when I went there for the first time. I was a kid that never really fit anywhere, that had trouble at home, that no one understood. And when I went to the Bowery that day I found dozens of people just like me..and became part of an amazing scene. There was nothing like it before or since. If Hardcore was a religion, then CBGB's was its Church. Hilly and Karen were always there and you knew that even if they were grumpy you knew they cared about you....they werent in it to make money.I can't even imagine Hilly without his club. He looked lost to me tonight. As it got closer to the end I was surprised at how emotionally attached I was to the place. So many of my memories are wrapped up in CBGB's. I found my place in the world at that club. I met my husband there. I made lifelong friends there...and I went there to grieve when friends died. We've raised our kids on a CBGB salary and watched them run around in CBGB shirts since they were toddlers...long before it was fashionable. I became who I am today in part because of my experiences at CBGB's. It has always been such a huge part of our lives that its incomprehensible to me that it's no more. Two nights ago I brought my daughter to the Blondie show. As I stood there at the stage with my daughter, and next to a friend whom I'd been going to shows with since the 80's.. I became overwhelmed with memories and emotion. I tried hard to hold back tears. Today Im not holding them back. I'm crying for the club, the music, the memories, my husband, myself, and for everyone who is lost without our home. CBGB's the building may be gone, but it will live inside us always. -Moon (Sam) Rafferty
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